Seasonal Sadness?

Or maybe just seasonal laziness. My mom had a more technical name for it, but I definately have it this year. I usually have it every year. Cold, gloomy, dark. Never like it. But this year is different, for many reasons, but mostly because I can't get motivated! I still have 6 "work in progress" rooms to finish, have only run once in my mini-marathon training (13.1 miles is a heck of a lot when you only run 1 at a time!), and I have gotten NOWHERE in the organization planning. Can't help anyone if the ideas are stuck in your head!

I sometimes have to remind myself that it hasn't even been 4 months yet. I am allowed to not have everything figured out yet! I think maybe I have too many plans in the works to actually get anything accomplished. Painting first, we do have a birthday party here next week! Then I will really start running, more than 1 mile at a time. Then I will kick the organization off. I have my whole life to save people. Maybe I should save myself first.

To avoid thinking about all that I am not doing, I have decided to focus my mind on something far less important. Tattoos. I am up to 5 that I am seriously considering. No one tell the husband...he only knows I want 1 more.

Tattoo #1: "Alex" in Chinese symbols on my back. Dad told me that traditionally, Chinese is written up and down. So, taking my sisters advice, I think I have decided to put it on my right shoulder, like Angelina Jolie. As Maggie said, "I would do that. She is bad ass!"

Tattoo #2: The Zibu symbol for Hope. I don't know a thing about Zibu...didn't even know it existed before I stumbled across this tattoo. But I like it, and it will be on my right wrist.

Tattoo #3: A dove on my foot. Probably under my ankle bone in that little soft spot. A dove because they universally stand for peace, but mostly because at Allie's funeral they let a dove go at the cemetary.

Tattoo #4: At Holly's halloween party, when everyone had left and it was only me, they started watching Survivor. I didn't watch the show, but one of the girls had a tattoo on her arm, and I couldn't figure out what it said. I became a tad obsessed and just had to find out what it said, and in the process fell in love with the show! The point is, she had a tattoo on her forearm. I couldn't find a picture, but I did find out that it is the Spanish word for careful. I want a tattoo in the same place, but I want it to say "Serenity Courage Wisdom" for the serenity prayer. It remains the only the thing that gets me through most days. And finally...

Tattoo #5: It hasn't been set in stone yet, but I found a tattoo for friendship that I like a lot. I immediately thought of Holly! She likes it, just have to see if she is still up for it!

So there it is. My evening spent thinking about anything but the sad things. Silly...but I am excited! Someday I may look back and say, "What in the world were you thinking?!" But I decided the other day that I should live for today. Why spend all your time worrying about how you may or may not feel about it in the future? Being a mother, that may seem contradictory, but I have learned that life is too short. Do what you want, be who you want, live how you want. What else is the point of living if you can't do those things?

Friend at work had a baby today. Missing my Alex, so here is another picture of my baby for the road. Coming up on 4 month Angelday.

Love this one. This is my absolute favorite way to be. Miss that everyday.